Many of my long time readers will know that my mother passed away just little over a year ago, and so, Mother’s Day brings me both happy and sad memories. As I am sure is the case with many people my age, who have lost their parents, the memories we hold dearest, are of when we were children and young adults. As we, and our parents grow older, often the memories can be a bit trying at best.
I like to remember my mother when I was a young boy living on the farm. I like to remember how our extended family would come to visit at the holidays and my mother would be in the steamy kitchen, cooking more food than an army would need for a wither campaign.
I remember how my mother kept us all together when my father’s drinking was at it worst.
I remember those iron-on patches she would put on the knees of my jeans, and how I was embarrassed by them, and hated them. But now I understand why she had to do it.
I remember how she let me buy my first pair of platform shoes in the 70’s, even though dad didn’t want me to have them.
I remember the tears I caused her in my teen years, too much like my father I guess, and still she loved me.
I remember how happy she was when I married my wife, and how mom loved her as much as I did.
I remember the night my daughter was born somewhere around midnight, and how mom drove from Dover, to Lewes, to be there, and oh how she loved that little girl.
I look back and realize that I could have, I should have, made more of an effort to visit more as I grew older, but you start another family of your own and think there will always be time tomorrow, and now I know that isn’t always true.
And yes, I remember her last few years, they were tough for her and the rest of the family. I am glad that I did make that time to visit more, but still not enough, never enough. My faith tells me she is whole and perfect again in God’s love, and she is with the man she spent her life with.
So yes, I miss my mother this Mother’s Day, though I will always love her.
But I have another mother in my life, one who has given me just as many memories, and one who I owe, oh so much to as well.
This mother is my wife, and she is one of the most loving and caring mothers that I know.
We were married for ten years when we had our daughter, and were working for the same company. For the first five years she was allowed to bring our daughter to the office everyday.
Thank you Charles, you’ll never know what that has meant to my family. I truly believe that it was those first years of being together, that created a bond between mother and daughter that is still unbroken today. They are still oh so very close.
I remember all of the award ceremonies my wife attended, all of the PTO meetings, the cheerleading practices and games. The few band recitals, she tried hard, but in the end it just wasn’t her thing.
I remember all of the hours of volunteering at the school so that she could be close by, and while some might think this was being over protective? We saw it as staying involved in our child’s education and being at home when she got off the bus.
I have always worked a lot of hours in my job, and so, much of the child rearing responsibilities fell to my wife, and though I didn’t miss many of those award ceremonies, or cheerleading practices or games, or recitals, my wife did carry the lion’s share of homework duty and such.
I am proud to say thanks to that close mother daughter bond they share, my daughter is a lot like her mother, thank God.
She has her mother’s beauty, she has her mother’s heart, she has her mother’s compassion. Unfortunately my daughter did seem to get my so-called sense of humor, which walks the thin line between sarcastic wit, and smart-ass.
I can never thank my wife enough for being the great and wonderful mother she has been for our daughter, for helping to bring into this world another person who I love as much, as I love her.
I will always treasure the memories of watching my wife fixing my daughter’s hair in so many ways, when daddy’s answer to a bad hair day was a hat.
I’ll never know how you kept you sanity hon, after watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs so many times.
I’ll always hold dear the mile stones of our lives as marked by hers. Her part in the pre-school Christmas play where she played a mouse, and the ears you hand sewed. Along with all of those great Halloween costumes, no store-bought rags for your little girl. Her fist dance and the prom and graduations where I cried more than you.
And I look forward to those still to come, thanks to you, our daughter has the best chance possible to fulfill her dream of being a teacher, and soon she will marry, and have children of her own, and then I will have yet another mother in my life.
Thank you and I love you.
So you see folks, just because you reach a certain age, and just because your own mother may have passed away, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t still a mother or two in your lives. Seek them out, tell them you understand what a hard, thankless job it can be, and tell them you love them, tell them every chance you get, because you never know when it will be your last chance.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY !
